Broken Promises, Broken Hearts
by jj82
Summary: Takes place after the season 4 finale.


So this is a short one-shot, that was stuck on my head since the finale. I know I have to update Starting over, I'm almost done with the next chapter, but I had to get this out. Some thoughts on tonight's finale at the bottom, if you haven't watched don't read * Spoilers*.

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><p>She stood at her darkened window, wishing she could look out. Along with the tears of blood running down her face, her nose and ears were bleeding as well. It was only the second week, it was supposed to get easier, but every night was harder. Reaching out to touch the glass of the window, she could feel the warmth of the sunlight. Touching it gave her some comfort, she closed her eyes and pretended she was laying out on the lawn, getting some sun, while reading a good book. If the window wasn't covered from the outside, she would've opened it. She wanted nothing more than to walk outside and raise her face to the sunlight, and as she burned to ash, she'd smile. This life she's living, it isn't a life – not a real one at least. She was no longer free. She was bound to the night and bound to him. She tried to repress her anger and hurt, but she couldn't. He loved her, more than anyone ever has, but he didn't have the right to take away her choice. Even though she loved him just as much, she wasn't made for this life – she didn't want to live forever, She just wanted to die.<p>

"Tara, come back to bed. I know you're upset, but this is not good for you. The bleeds, they hinder you. Tonight, you will feel weak." She didn't turn around to look at him; she just stood there, with her hand on the glass. She felt like a poor little kid with its nose against the glass window of a candy store.

"Eric, let me go. I'm begging you, just let me go," she pleaded. She felt him move towards her – funny, now that she's a vampire her senses are insane. Her heart constricted a little when he laid his hand on her shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. This was hard for him too. He loved her. She wanted to leave him.

"I can't… I can't be without you. If I could have saved you without turning you, I would have, but there was so much blood, and you were on the brink of death. In that moment, my life flashed before me, and without you, there was nothing. I had to do it." His voice wavered with emotion. He knew she'd be upset, but he figured she'd get used to it after a few days. When he caught her trying to sneak out during the day to kill herself, he commanded her not to harm herself. He was selfish. It was a fact, but the loss of Tara would have killed him. When Godric met the sun it almost broke his heart, it was, as if he was losing a father. When he saw Tara laying in Sookie's arms, bleeding, from a shot to the head; his life was over. He knew if she died, he'd have no choice but to die with her. When he felt those shallow breaths, he knew he couldn't heal her, but he could turn her and have her forever. It was wrong. It was selfish, but he'd do it again, in a heartbeat. It had taken him a thousand years to love, now that he had it, he wouldn't let it go. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed her back deep into his chest. Laying his head among hers, he asked. "Please forgive me, Tara. Forgive me and try to be happy with me. We were happy before, we can be happy again, just give it a chance, and give us a chance."

Tara felt her resolve waver. Lafayette always said that her love for him would bring her down, and she loved him, a lot. However, every time she tried to fill her mind with thoughts of him, of them together and happy, reality would take over, and she'd remember all the things she couldn't have such as: children, sunlight, food, a regular job, children… she loved Eric. She loved him so much it was almost a sickness, but he betrayed her. He turned her into a vampire knowing it wasn't what she wanted, he was so wrapped up in his hurt, that he didn't care about hurting her. "We had our chance, Eric. We had our moment. We actually had many moments, and they were all wonderful and amazing, and I'm thankful every day for having them with you. Even so, I'm meant to be dead. I was meant to be gone. You could have said goodbye and let me go. You could have kept your promise, but you didn't. You knew my wishes, and you went against them. You've bound me in a way where I can't make my own choices. You give me a command, and my body betrays me. It does as you ask. I have no control. You took it away. If you love me, you'll let me go."

Eric was tired of the same argument, every night for the past week. Turning her in his arms so that he could look into her eyes, he was shocked by the pain he felt at her obvious distress. "Listen to me and listen to me well. I love you more than anyone. That's why I did this. I can't continue living if you're gone. I love you, Tara, but I won't let you go. I can't. Just give it some time, and you'll get used to it. I promise you."

It was the first time she'd ever seen Eric cry. In the past, it would be her undoing, but his betrayal stung and his tears didn't move her… much. She remembers the days when she wished someone would love her like this, now she realizes how naïve she was. Eric loved her, not doubt about it, but he loved himself more. If she was as important as he said, he'd want her happiness, and this was not it."You've made a lot of promises, and you've broken them. So I'm sorry if I find it hard to trust you. If you loved me so much, then you wouldn't be so damn selfish and you'd let me die."

This was getting ridiculous. They were both bleeding. They should be sleeping. "I've had enough conversation tonight. Come back to bed."

Her shoulders tensed at his tone, "You go. I'll be in soon."

He didn't want to, but he knew he had no choice. If she stayed up and continued to bleed, she'd be weak and the fact that she refused human blood only made her weaker. "Tara, I command you to come to bed with me." He regretted his command the moment she looked at him. Once again, he betrayed her, once again he took away her choice. Once she realized how important she was to him, she'd forgive him. He would make her forgive him. He promised himself that.

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><p>Okay, so I don't think Tara is dead. I feel like Eric or Bill will come rushing to Sookies sos. I'm hoping Eric feeds her his blood and she starts dreaming about him, leading into some kinky sex and an Eric, Tara, Sam triangle. The other option would be to turn her, I don't love it, but it could work. Now if I'm wrong and she's dead... I'll be so disappointed, I don't know if I could continue watching. So here's hoping that Alan Ball doesn't crush my hopes. Hope you guys enjoy this one-shot, it will probably have a follow-up, but not for a while. Once I'm done with the next chapter of Starting over, I'm gonna work on a follow up for Tired of waiting.<p> 


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